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5 Reasons Why Elderly couples need more relationship guidance?
July 12, 2019 | Life | By Jason Reid
Mr. or Mrs. Right may do double time acting as Mr. or Mrs. Know-It-All. As time passes, couples begin to set into their ways and become very opinionated about their partner and their overall contribution to the relationship. Here are 5 reasons why elderly couples need even more guidance in their relationship.
- Finding the Comfort Zone (and getting out of it): Aging is a natural process. There’s no way around settling into your later years. Often times, with age comes a natural settling into certain thought patterns and mindsets as well. These patterns start to become beliefs and are very difficult to replace. These beliefs include, strong opinion around their spouse. With age, everyone settles into their roles and life can go on forever. Clashes could erupt if one sticks to opinions and closed to interaction. To create new roles and reinvent the relationship, it is important to get out of the comfort zone and seek guidance. Relationship guidance, helps couples identify what their wants and needs are again. Rather than finding complacency in their relationship, they can be guided to new goals for themselves individually as well as together. This allows them to have a sense of pride and accomplishment which naturally increases self-esteem leading to a more fulfilling and whole-hearted relationship.
- Making Moves: With strong opinions comes the stickiness of remaining biased towards set opinions. As seniors though we may have the experience of the world, we just don’t change options easily. For us just identification of new goals isn’t enough. Sometimes seeking relationship guidance isn’t something we are open towards. However this could be the only way to allow for change. Finding out what ultimately you and your partner would like to do within the next year is huge and allows you to work together towards something positive. This also allows you to set up physical goals for your partnership. This might mean making fun incentives what we like individually or out of sexual activities and creating intimacy in innovative ways. Finding the best way to achieve the goal together and seeking guidance on how to do so, will ultimately end up with you both finding even more satisfaction during the pursuit of it as well.
- Tune Ups aren’t just for cars: Though its tough, acknowledging need for change is the first right step. We may have been leaders in our realm, we also have the responsibility of keeping the house together. Just because things may have been going well in your relationship doesn’t mean you won’t have setbacks. Being prepared with how to deal with things as they arise is much better than seeking feedback reactively. Even newer cars need to be taken in occasionally and that isn’t to say they aren’t working, but it’s always helpful to get another set of eyes to spot check.
- Life Long Learners: Whether this is the first marriage or the 5th, as individuals we are constantly learning. Beyond learning simply from experiences, we have the capability to learn from each other as well as professionals. In seeking out relationship guidance, whether it be from a book, a therapist, or friend, is always a great idea. Even if their relationship is different from yours, there’s always some insights to learn from. Keeping an open mind allows you to start seeing things through different perspectives. This helps with creating connections within your relationship.
- Consistency is KEY: You may have been married young and learnt the nuances of living together but we know the best appearing relationships, always have ups and downs. It is an unavoidable part of life. The roller coaster of romance is a tough one to ride and it can be detoured with good practice. Seeking out guidance can also help maintain consistency in your relationship. Most people work much better with having a consistent response from your partner and find it rewarding to receive. The goal for most couples is longevity. The companionship you currently share, if continuously fed, will continue to grow as long as it is maintained.
Seniors from all walks of life can benefit from the value of guidance. There’s no such thing as being too old to learn or too wise to gain more wisdom.
Relationships are all unique and should be treated as such. Because there is no “one size fits all” for couples’ relationship help, it is important that couples find tailored guidance that suits the needs for the direction they’re heading. When practiced and applied, experiencing the wins in a satisfying relationship certainly makes any of the toil worth it.