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Older women stop having sex not because they lose interest, but due to a combination of factors that range from discomfort and pain to partner issues. Women’s lack of interest in sex is a mix of both mental and physical factors and these cannot be cured simply by medication. Read on to know more about it.
There isn’t a “normal” when evaluating sexual activity of woman. As long as the sexual frequency is working for the couple it is normal. As per doctors, it is only when the woman begins to feel distress due to the falling interest in sex that “low sexual desire” is experienced.
Genitourinary syndrome is a term that is used to talk about the different bladder and vaginal problems that affect senior women who have reached menopause. A study showed that most women in the age group of 50 and above face various bladder and vaginal issues, like thinning of the vaginal wall, vaginal dryness and vaginismus in which the muscles of the vagina tighten up during sex, due to which they feel pain and discomfort during sex. It primary reason that drives them away from having sex.
With age come various aches and pains of the body. Many positions that were earlier fun during sex now start to become a source of discomfort. Often women thus begin to stop having sex in fear that they might hurt themselves. Other than this, other age related health issues might require her to have various medications with side effects or induce laziness. These medicines make her feel tired, give headaches, and feel unappealing. For example, some antidepressants and drugs that lower blood pressure decrease the testosterone levels thus lowering the woman’s interest in having sex.
As a woman ages, she finds it more difficult to reach an orgasm during sex. This leaves her feeling inadequate and embarrassed. Hence older women often tend to steer clear from having sex at all.
Older men often suffer from erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation. When this happens, the woman starts to lose interest in sex with the partner.
After many years of being together, there is always the chance that the couple no longer feels close and attracted to each other. When a relationship becomes monotonous and stale, the woman starts to lose interest in having sex with her partner.
When a senior woman loses her partner – either due to his passing away or separation and divorce – she gets into a shell. The devastation and loneliness that she feels makes her want to stay closed up and she begins to avoid any kind of physical involvement for a considerable period of time.
As a woman ages, she often feels that she is no longer as beautiful as she used to be, When she looks at her wrinkles and age spots in the mirror, she slowly develops a sense of low self-esteem and might even start to feel depressed. When this happens, she begins to avoid her partner physically till, ultimately, sex completely stops.
Some women get so busy with a hectic work schedule and the completion of all the chores at home that she has little time left to feel the pleasure of sex with her partner. And during the little time when the couple can be together, she feels exhausted and so does not have any interest in a physical union with her partner.
If the both of you, as a couple, are open to counselling then that is the best approach to begin with. Be open about your issues to the expert and let their advice help you with what would work the best for you to rekindle the relationship.
If the falling interest in sex is due to medications then a change could help you to get back on track. Speak to your doctor about alternative therapies for your health issues and your interest in sex might rise again.
It could be that you feel extreme vaginal pain during sex due to fibroids. A surgery might then help to address the issue.
Don’t stay away from sex simply because of vaginal dryness. There are many lubricants in the market now which can help you to make your vagina “wet” enough and thus help you to enjoy sex
If your partner is unable to satisfy you, the both of you can always enjoy closeness through other means like a massage, bathing together, mutual masturbation, or even play with toys.
If you are still healing from the loss of a partner, it is alright to give yourself some time. However, don’t stay this way forever. You are still attractive and there are men out there who would love to date you. So, do give yourself that chance.
If you are single and not in a relationship, then there is no reason why you can’t enjoy a fling and some good sex with someone new. Please don’t shy away from indulging in a physical relationship with a man even if you are not ready for a long term commitment. You will be surprised to see how desirable you still are when the new one ‘discovers’ you. It will do a lot of good to your self-esteem as well.
Regular exercise – right from morning walks to yoga – will not only make you feel more rejuvenated, but the aches in your body that you feel will also get controlled. This, in turn, would make you perform better when you do have sex.
Your lack of libido is not uncommon – there are many women out there who suffer from the same issue just as you. However, there are many ways for you address this. So, bring some changes in your life and start to look forward to the pleasure of sex once again.