Guide to Rediscover Sexual Pleasure in A Sexless Marriage after 50
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Guide to Rediscover Sexual Pleasure in A Sexless Marriage after 50

January 23, 2019 | Sex | By Amanda Johnson

Are you in your 50s and cribbing because your marriage has turned into a sexless one? Instead of developing a roving eye and starting an extra marital relationship just to fulfill your sexual desires, first try and think why this has happened. Rediscovering sexual pleasure in a sexless marriage after 50 need some understanding, innovation & kinky ideas.

Why Do Marriages Get Sexless

The Age Gets To Seniors

With age specially after 50, both men and women lose sexual interest due to changes in their bodies. Men often suffer from premature ejaculation or the inability to get an arousal. Both these issues cause embarrassment and hence he might thus tend to stay away from sex. As for women in their 50s, since they often tend to reach their menopause by this time, they, in general, lose some interest in sex. Women of this age also often suffer from vaginal dryness. This makes sex painful for them. As a couple, if lack of sex is what is affecting your relationship then do sit down and talk. There are many medicines, gels, and creams that can help you with these issues.

Exhaustion And Tiredness

Seniors often go without sex for long stretches because they feel exhausted and tired. This is because, with age, the body tends to slow down a little. So, those activities that one could perform easily earlier on take more effort at this age. Since sex is one where one has to be active, if the body feels exhausted then one does not want to indulge in it. If one partner feels so and the other wants to indulge in it, then, through communication, pleasure can be given. Helping partner to masturbate through the use of toys is one such option.

Illnesses

If the partner is recovering from an illness he/she might not be in the mood for sex due to soreness and aches and pains. Instead of getting annoyed or feeling rejected, help her to alleviate her pain. A warm shower together or a body massage is sure to make him/her feel better. Also, if he/she is avoiding sex due to aches, you could try newer positions so that it becomes more comfortable for them.

Routine Activity That Is Monotonous

You could be suffering from lack of sex because things have gotten boring and predictable. If your spouse and you have been married for decades and doing the same kind of thing in bed, then it is natural that one might just shun it at times. Try and get a little more interested and adventurous. No, I don’t mean try out gymnastics in bed but maybe you could try it at places where you have never done it before like the kitchen or the shower. You could even go for a holiday together.

Both Are Waiting For The Other To Speak Up

When a couple goes without sex for a long time, it so happens that both close up on the subject. Due to this, the time of no-sex increases even further. Don’t be fooled though. If you have been keeping a count of the time that has lapsed since you last had sex, it is likely that your partner is doing the same. Due to the silence a feeling of dejection and being ‘unwantedness’ thus might be growing within both of you. The best way to bring this to an end is to open the line of communication.

Longer You Stay Away More Tough It Becomes To Get Back To It

It is a vicious circle – the longer you stay away from sex, your mind will keep you reminding that you are disinterested in it. So, you must break the jinx. Find time and do it – don’t keep making excuses but put in a conscious effort to start it once again. The more sex you have, the more you will want. There is science behind this. When you have an active sexual life your sex hormones are being produced and so the desire is there. When you stop, then the low hormonal production makes you want to stay away.

The Partner Has Stopped Feeling Sexy

When a man sees that he can’t get an arousal or when a woman stands in front of the mirrors and sees all her wrinkles and age spots he/she begins to think that he/she is no longer sexy and beautiful. The mind interprets this, as the partner also does not find him/her desirable anymore. In order to bring this myth to an end you need to dress up better and get fitter. On the other hand, you should also communicate with your partner and when you do and he/she showers you with compliments you will know how wrong you have been in your thinking.

Guide to Rediscover Sexual Pleasure in A Sexless Marriage after 50

What Can Be Done To Improve The Situation

  • Use creams and gels for vaginal lubrication
  • Have medicines which will help you maintain a hard on for longer
  • Help your partner have an orgasm through the use of sex toys
  • Indulge in mutual masturbation
  • Take a shower together
  • Give each other a massage
  • Try newer positions in bed
  • Have sex in newer places
  • Go for holidays which can even include naturist vacations and nude cruise
  • Go to places where you can enjoy a swinger’s night
  • Try a threesome if both of you agree to it
  • Get back the camaraderie first
  • Go to a sex therapist

It is easy to break a marriage when the sex stops happening because sex is an integral part of any marriage. But, if you and your spouse has spent so many years together, then don’t give up so easily. Once you have identified the issue, do try, talk and find ways that you can get the spice and sex back into your lives once again. Hope it will help you Rediscover Sexual Pleasure in A Sexless Marriage after 50.

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