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It is always a delicious thought to have a relationship like Jay and Gloria from ABC’s Modern Family – a septuagenarian and a hot forties mama living the carpe diem life. However it doesn’t matter how lucrative it sounds, any kind of relationship requires to be dealt with in its own distinct way in order to ensure happiness and success in the shared bond. Especially in a relationship like that, the sets of rules to play by will be a little bit different than dating someone from the same age group. But in no way does it mean that an older man and a young woman might make a mismatched couple.
As a straight woman paving her own way through life, the stress of dating men at different ages from different age groups is not something that many men can identify or resonate with. In high school and college, the challenge focuses on the sharing of the mutual space, both physical and mental. Most of your time is spent in either agonizing over “Oh what is he going to think about this?” and exploring your firsts and debunking sexual myths together. It is about opening up to the other gender, which paves the way towards the Roaring Twenties, as much of your teenage and young adult knowledge would come full circle in trying to have as many fulfilling (or non-fulfilling) sexual escapades as possible – as experience, you know?
The thirties and forties are spent in coaching, wife-ing and mothering your significant half to become the man they always wanted to be, and the fifties are to pick up the pieces when all of it comes unravelling at your feet. This might be the reason why more women are increasingly looking towards older men, in their sixties or seventies, settled, charming, experienced and mature to take them out of this losing game, and show them how to treat a lady – old Hollywood style.
Things to remember while dating a younger girl:
There is no woman on this planet who doesn’t love a good adventure story of an African safari gone wild or a haunting story of how once you saved the day and were hailed a hero. You already have the “Maturity through experience” card playing for you, and if you properly play your cards right, she might end up being so entranced by you that she wouldn’t let you go.
It doesn’t require much – it’s simple things like holding the door open, listening to her without interruption, smiling when you greet and asking how her day went will instantly boost up your charming points by a thousand than the twenty-something hipster who doesn’t care about anything other than his artisanal yogurt, and who is also trying to snatch her under your nose. Ooze off that suave Pierce Brosnan vibe, and she will be falling for you sooner than you can count “Three… Two…” Geddit?
Yes, you have seen the world, and yes, you have successfully conquered it, But it does not mean that you can woo the ladies by bragging about how much you have amassed or which new island you can fly her off to at a moment’s notice. Nuh-uh. Women like subtlety, women like calm, and women like controlled. Especially the young, hot girl that you have been crushing on, will probably see through all your desperate efforts to win her over. Play it cool, let her discover the person you are, and if it’s meant to be, it is meant to be.
No matter what you try, never lose the sense of who you are while trying to impress someone you like. If she likes you, it will be because of the life you have lived, the experiences you have gained and the way you treat her. All of those qualities make you the man you are, and even though we understand that it is very easy to go with the impulse to try to act younger, maybe as a harmless agenda to just blend in with her or her crowd – you have to remember that she chose you for you, and if she wanted you to act younger, she would have chosen someone else already.
Just because you have seen, experienced or lived your life more than what she has been through, does not provide you the right to be on a higher horse while dating a younger woman. She will see right through you, and you will gradually start to lose all respect in those eyes. Do not suffocate her by always trying to one-up by the virtue of your age, let her also decide the pace, rhythm and the direction of the relationship. Instead of hogging breathing space, let her treat you when she wants, let her pamper you, let her show you the wonders of her world. As one half of a working relationship, she deserves to spoil you or rebuke you as much as you have the rights to do with her.
The idea of older men dating younger women has always been an exciting topic to explore, sans the age-old “gold digger” stigma attached to the whole idea. Research and statistics have proved that couples comprising of older men and younger women are dynamic, different and always very very passionate with a higher rate of success in relationships. In United Kingdom, younger women marrying men 30 or 40 years older than them has resulted in happy, secure and stable marriages, even when none of the concerning parties had any wealth to talk about. In the end it all boils down to the chemistry between you and the other one, and how hard you are willing to work to build a trusting and faithful relationship, like any other.
Older men and younger women are a classic pair – his intelligence, maturity and charm coupled with her naïve delicate youth make for a match that makes the world look back twice. It does not really matter if they love you or hate you, they just cannot ignore you.