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Polyamory (derived from Latin and the ancient Greeks) is the practice or desire to have romantic or sexual relationships with more than one partner. Consensual monogamy, if you will. While this is by no means a new concept, you can’t deny that it’s one rapidly becoming more popular, discussed and normalised. As a base outline, I have below cited seven quick tips for a basic guide to polyamory.
1. The rules of polyamory shouldn’t change based on your age. Respect is respect. You should already understand consent and mutual reverence before embarking on any sexual journey, and this is no exception.
2. For everyone involved, there needs to be a clear understanding about everyone’s separate roles in the relationship, which is unsurprisingly one of the most difficult hurdles to manoeuvre when embarking on a journey with more than one partner. It can often feel like you’re confused about what you’re bringing to the table with a polyamorous relationship, but that is normal and can be straightened out with a reassuring and honest conversation.
3. Communication is key. One of the massive differences in being in a relationship with multiple individuals, as opposed to one, is that you often feel like you either aren’t being heard or there’s no one person for you to really confide in. On the contrary, providing you remain open and honest and consistently communicate about any and all thoughts and feelings, polyamory can become an amazing opportunity to really connect with a wider range of people.
4. Monogamy isn’t natural. It’s a concept thrust upon us from a young age, but that doesn’t mean that they are not boundaries to be pushed. Becoming more sexually fluid is not only a nod to our ancestors, but also an incredibly modern concept and something to be admired.
5. If this is a relatively new concept to you, then you’re bound to feel jealous or even insecure at times. This is a human reaction to seeing someone we feel connected to, connect with someone else. It is quite a difficult prospect to process, but your polyamory won’t thrive until you do. Learn to share, and reap the additional love you’ll get in return.
6. Stop trying to define polyamory, or your relationship. It’s yours. It’s meant to be original and unique and shouldn’t be compared to that of anyone else. Especially when in a polyamorous relationship, as it’s a concept seldom experienced by a lot of us, but you should not have to explain your relationship to anyone but yourself and those directly involved or impacted. That is the beauty of a relationship like this: you have the freedom to make your own rules.
7. Love is love. And that’s what is the most important thing to remember, despite whether you are polyamorous or monogamous. Polyamory is admirable in particular, as the gift of sharing your love equally among multiple willing recipients, but it’s no more respectable than monogamous love. Again, the best part of growing older is uncovering parts of yourself you hadn’t paid attention to before. Find what works for you, and run with it.