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Grey Divorce: Recovery And Transformation Post Divorce After 50
December 19, 2018 | Life | By Amanda Johnson
After being together for decades when a divorce happens at 50, it is but natural to stay in a shell for a while. This is not only because of the shock when you realize that you are in the world all alone again but also because you are anxious about even trying the dating game again. We have some tips to help you through this phase.
Take It Slow
Don’t be in a hurry to get back to dating. Give yourself some healing time. Only when you are ready to meet people again you should start dating. Never do anything on the rebound just because the loneliness is getting better of you. The grief of parting ways with one you have spent so many years with can make you depressed. So, this is the time when you should focus attention on yourself:
- Sleep well because sleeping will slowly calm down your frayed nerves and the body will get a lot of energy back
- Get back to exercising and together with this eat a well-balanced and healthy food. Don’t forget to drink water and give up vices like drinking and smoking that might tempt you at a time like this
- Start a hobby – this could be anything from journal writing, to reading books of various genres, to painting or even trying your hand at pottery making
- Listening to music heals the heart and soothes the mind
- Start travelling again because exploring new places and meeting new people will definitely tell you that there is so much more that the world has to offer to you than to sit indoor and rue over what went wrong. Now is the time for you to smile because there is still time for so much to become right
- Be with friends whom you can trust
- Seek help if the depression gets worse
Analyse What You Want In Your Partner
Even before you start your search know what it is that you are exactly looking for. Your requirement from a partner is sure to have changed over the years. For instance, maybe now you won’t concentrate so much on looks as you would on whether you share similar interests, the person is a kind soul or not, and whether they match your stamina and style or not. To bring some clarity to your thoughts, write down what you are looking for – from the partner and from the relationship.
There Are People Who Still Want To Date You
Don’t think that since you are over 50 you would find it difficult to find someone for yourself. There are plenty out there looking for a soulmate. Yes, you might feel that dating is a drag and requires too much of effort; but don’t forget that life is also just one and you deserve all the happiness in the world. So, go ahead and find the right one for yourself even if you have to do it all over again.
End Of One Relationship Doesn’t Mean All Will Fizzle Out
Don’t start believing that because one relationship, in which you have invested so many years of your life has fizzled out, a new one will also end that way. Stop being so pessimistic. People do fall out of love and relationships do end, and yet, love is the only thing that still makes the world go round.
Get Online
If you are wondering where you will start your hunt for a partner then you should know that the world has changed a lot over the years and the online scenario has really developed. So, get online. Do be careful for anyone who can be hiding behind the screen on the other side. But once you have reviewed all your checks and concerns allow yourself a meeting with someone whom you think you can gel with. Check sites like match.com, silversingles.com, ourtime.com. etc When you are finding for someone online:
- Write clearly what you want
- A truthful update for yourself
- A clear and honest photograph of yourself
Other Places To Meet Prospective Partners
If you are not comfortable with an online mate hunt then there are many other places you can find your partner. These could be:
- At a hobby class
- During a morning walk at the garden and park
- In parties
- At cafes
- At the library
- Amidst common friends
Have Patience
Don’t give up the search if one date falls flat on the face. While dating can go on forever and you will never find the correct one if you keep your wishes and wants too high, it also does not mean that you compromise and settle for what you get at the very first time. Be patient with yourself and your search and you will improve the probability of actually finding someone who you feel at ease and compatible with.
Pay Attention To Your Finances
Okay, so you are alone and starting all over again. Even if you do not have any financial constraints don’t start splurging during your partner hunt. Also, it would do you good to start work again. Also make a list of your investments and make new ones that are not risky ventures lest you lose a lot of money. This is so that you have an emergency fund if ever the need for it arises.
Yes, you have spent many years with your partner with whom you are now separated. Yes, you are grieving now and still getting over the shock. But don’t let life just pass you by. There are people out there who want to be with you. So stop staying cocooned and start looking at life once again. Your recovery is up to you. So, only you can get over the grieving period, get your finances back in order, and find a new partner for yourself. Don’t give up for happiness it is just round the corner.
