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If you are recovering post your treatment for breast cancer then it could be that you are experiencing a loss in sexual desire. Don’t worry about it because you are not the only one. Take it slowly and do what you feel is right for you and you will find that your are Getting Back to A Good Sex Life After Breast Cancer.
Why Sexual Desire Goes Down
The loss of sexual desire can continue for many months. This happens for a number of reasons.
Treatment for breast cancer can make you feel exhausted and tired. With low levels of energy you might not be too inclined to participate in any sexual activity.
Chemotherapy or surgery due to breast cancer can alter the way you look. This could affect your levels of self-confidence. If one is embarrassed of the way they look they feel too shy to have sex with their partner.
Post chemotherapy, the medicines and your general outlook towards life can get you to feel depressed. You could approach a psychologist or a therapist to help you feel better. Two associations that may help you are the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselors and Therapists and the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health.
If you enjoyed stimulation of your breasts, the post recovery from breast cancer your interest in sex may dwindle since his part of your body would have undergone a lot of changes. This not only includes the look of it but you may have even lost one due to surgery or feel a numbness or pain as well.
How To Get Back To Sex
Due to breast cancer if you have undergone a surgery because of which your breasts now look different or feels sore then it could be that you don’t like it to be touched anymore. Many women avoid touch to the breast that remains unchanged because it reminds them of the past. Your partner might also hesitate to touch your breasts because they look and feel different. This doesn’t mean that you have to stop touching each other. Your partner and you can discover new erogenous spots that arouse you as well.
Even if you don’t feel like having sex you can still be close to your partner by simply holding hands, kissing, or cuddling in bed. It is the closeness that is more important. If you feel you can even indulge in giving each other massages or taking a bath together. Make getting back to sex a gradual process and you take the call of the pace that you want.
Both of you should talk to each other prior to getting into the bedroom. There would be questions that your partner might have and you would also have thoughts and anxiousness regarding getting back to sex after a considerable period of time. So, in order to avoid any awkwardness during sex time, it is sensible to have an open discussion with him much earlier.
You might see that due to soreness and pain you are unable to have sex in the position that were most comfortable in earlier. Instead of hiding this from your partner be open and talk to him. There are many sexual positions that give equal pleasure. So all you need to do is to try new ones out till you find one that satisfies the both of you.
If you keep thinking back about how sex was prior to being diagnosed with breast cancer you will get into a chain of miserable thoughts. Be more positive in your attitude. You have recovered and you are getting back to a normal life now. Even if certain thing about sex changes, you still have a partner who loves you. Know that together the both of you will make everything work out.
If you feel uncomfortable with your body and hence you are shying away from sex then start the process by indulging in self-pleasure. Touch yourself and even stand in front of the mirror and see how you look. Masturbation will slowly make you realize that even if your looks have changed your sexuality hasn’t. This will help you when you have sex with your man.
Chemotherapy can lead to vaginal dryness. This can make sex painful. So use lubricants or vaginal moisturizers before sex. Adequate amount of foreplay will also lubricate your vagina. Practice some floor exercises. This will relieve you of some of the pain that you might be feeling in your vagina.
Post recovery could mean mood swings and tiredness. In order to relieve yourself of some of the stress and anxiety you should create a nice atmosphere before you get into bed with your man. Dim the lights, play soft music, light aromatic candles – all these will help get you into a better mood.
Even if you were fine being naked in full light prior to breast cancer this might have changed now. If you are feeling self-conscious then dim the lights. Also, you can wear a nightdress instead of being naked sharing the act. Many even wear prosthesis and a bra during sex as that relaxes them and makes them more comfortable.
Speak to your doctor regarding what exercises would be good for your body and ask him to chart out a routine for you. Proper exercise together with a nutritious diet will help you get your energy and health back slowly. As your exhaustion reduces, you will find that you are able to focus on intimacy with your partner. You can even enroll yourself for mental health counseling that includes cognitive behavioral therapy. This therapy will not only ease your anxiety but will also advice you with various relaxation exercises.
Once diagnosed with breast cancer you might feel betrayed. You might think why it happened to you. And post treatment you might not like your body anymore. This disconnect is a normal feeling that many women go through. But with these tips, you can definitely get back to having pleasurable sex with your partner once again.