Polyamorous Relationship: All You Need To Know Before You Start At Or Over 50
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Polyamorous Relationship: All You Need To Know Before You Start At Or Over 50

April 9, 2019 | Life | By Lisa Smith

Is your age making you think if a Polyamorous relationship is for you? Here’s everything you need to know before you start one at or over 50.

What Is A Polyamorous Relationship

The usual relationship rule is that two people who are committed to each other share exclusivity. Sometimes, couples though try out the swinger lifestyle or share an open relationship. A polyamorous relationship takes things to an altogether different level.

Development Of The Polyamorous Relationship

The history of polyamorous relationships goes back to the time of the Greeks and Mesopotamians. In USA, the first documented version of it goes back to 1848. When John Humphrey Noyes established that Oneida community believed that every man and every woman were technically married to one another.

In the recent times there is a growing trend of couples experimenting with the polyamorous relationship. However, there is still a group who feel negatively about it. Added to this, not all are still open about it and prefer to keep it a closely guarded secret. Couples also define polyamorous differently – ranging from can the partners be from same sex or dose the relationships allow sex only or an emotional connection as well. Studies have not been able to find out an exact number of people in USA who are into a polyamorous relationship.

What A Polyamorous Relationship Is Not

It Does Not Mean Cheating

In a polyamorous relationship the couple discuss the possibility of having more than one partner openly and then do so only when both are in agreement that such a possibility exists. The keyword in a polyamorous relationship is ‘consent’ without which it becomes cheating.

It Is Not Bigamy

In bigamy only the man is allowed to have many partners married to him and is allowed to sleep with them as he pleases. A polyamorous relationship is different. Here both partners are allowed to have multiple partners and the both are aware of this and accept it as well while reaming committed or married.

It Is Not Swinging

In swinging the couple decide to sleep with others but this is done usually for a night for the sake of fun and excitement. In a polyamorous relationship, each relationship is about a connection that is both physical and mental. Such relationships are thus more long term and far more serious.

How To Get Into A Polyamorous Relationship

Everything has a process, which if followed will work out well – so too with a polyamorous relationship. Here’s what you need to do once the both of you have sat, talked and agreed that this is something that you want to get into.

  • Never bring in the flaws of your current relationship – a blame game should not be the basis for the start of a polyamorous relationship.
  • Always talk to your partner when you meet someone who you are planning to enter into a new relationship with. Find out if he/she is okay with it before you move ahead. Keeping the channels of communication open is a necessity.
  • Set the rules and the boundaries before you go out looking for new people. The both of you must remember that polyamory is based on trust. So, neither of you can go beyond these boundaries.
  • Just because you are allowed to explore options outside your current relationship, don’t be in a hurry.
  • You must respect your partner this is the rule for any relationship. At any point when you feel that you want to break up since you found another person then you must share it with him/her.

The Advantages Of A Polyamorous Relationship

A polyamorous relationship can be a success only if both parties are agreeable and open to it. So, this is the time when you need to tell your partner about the advantages that it carries.

  • You don’t need to cheat on your partner because a polyamorous relationship gives you freedom to have multiple partners.
  • A monogamous relationship often deteriorates because one person is unable to meet all the demands of the other partner. This could be about his/her emotional and physical needs. For instance, it is unlikely that one person can have intelligent conversations with you and also be wild and passionate in bed. This is where polyamory becomes useful.
  • Polyamory gives you the chance to fall in love and feeling loved does make one feel good about himself/herself.
  • A polyamorous relationship can be successful only if there is a lot of openness between the couple. Hence such a relationship promotes conversations among couple and makes the relationship stronger.

Some Factors To Consider Before Starting A Polyamorous Relationship

Everything has its benefits and its flaws. So, before you get into a polyamorous relationship there are some things that you should consider.

  • The future of your relationship – A polyamorous relationship means that your partner will connect emotionally with others. The question hence remains that how will that affect the future of your relationship? There are always chances that he/she might want to move in and be with the other.
  • Will you be able to accept it – You need to ask yourself whether you will be able to handle the fact that your partner is having sex with others and this sleeping around is not just for fun but more out of love and an emotional binding that he/she has developed with another.
  • Does your relationship really need it – If the two of you are in love then do you need to venture out?
  • Assess each other’s personality first – A polyamorous relationship means that both people have faith and respect for each other. However, if you feel that one of you isn’t so, then it is better not to take this route.

The polyamorous relationship is often frowned upon not only because there are still many out there with an extremely myopic mind-set that believes in exclusivity in a relationship but also because this kind of relationship isn’t known about too well. With time it is likely that people talk more about it and the correct information gets passed along and the shrouds of mystery disappear.

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